Many Bat Mitzvah girls choose to have a Bat Mitzvah Candle Lighting Ceremony at their Bat Mitzvahs. This is a very special ceremony which allows the Bat Mitzvah girl to dwell on people or ideas are important to her. What is especially nice about the Bat Mitzvah candle lighting ceremony is that it is very flexible and you can use your own ideas to adapt it to what is important to your family.
The basic structure of the Bat Mitzvah candle lighting ceremony includes choosing how many candles you would like to light. Most Bat Mitzvah candle lighting ceremonies have thirteen candles to represent the Bat Mitzvah’s girl’s age, with one for next year. Then you decide what important people are going to be invited to light candles, and the order in which they are called. Many people first light a memorial candle for those who are no longer with us, then they honor grandparents, aunts and uncles, then cousins, older relatives and younger relatives. Finally, family friends, the Bat Mitzvah girl’s friends, siblings and parents are invited to light. Sometimes the Bat Mitzvah girl will light the final candle.
During the ceremony each honoree that lights is accompanied by background music which is relevant to them, let the DJ or band know ahead of time what you have chosen and they will play it for you.
Traditionally the girl or her parents will write a poem (which rhymes or in free verse) for each person or group who is lighting a candle. You should personalize this poem, add identifying details and mention something about the relationship and influence they have had on you.
It is a nice idea to donate a small amount to a favorite charity for each candle, in the name of the person you are calling.