You Tube’s Best Bar Mitzvah Speech – NOT!

For some reason, at the time that I wrote this, this Bar Mitzvah Speech video was nearing 170 000 hits.

As a speech writer I am both saddened and outraged to hear this Bar Mitzvah boy talk. However, I do not blame the Bar Mitzvah boy himself, for the feelings that he has which are totally legitimate!

Every person, every Jew, is entitled to question and to search for answers. Every person has a right to express their doubts! It is certainly reasonable that in one’s early teens, when one is searching for self identity, role models and – lets admit it – rebelling against societal givens, that one is highly critical of the institutionalized and societal structure that religion often represents.

However, IMHO, it is a major failure of the Jewish Establishment, which has not been able to give this boy ANY sort of profound Jewish experience – in whatever form it may be – Jewish camp, Jewish school, Sunday school, youth group, maccabi games, Bar Mitzvah project, JCC etc…!

But more so, I blame the parents of the Bar Mitzvah boy, who think they do not need to search for a Jewish outlet that will be meaningful to him, and to help him connect him with his Jewish identity and the destiny of his nation at the critical time of his Bar Mitzvah. I also blame his smirking Bar Mitzvah teacher/Rabbi who clearly gave up on this boy and should have known better!!

Within the wide world of Judaism there ARE answers, and there IS a place for everyone, and it is a bar mitzvah boy’s and bat mitzvah girl’s right – not privilege- to have parents, educators and youth leaders that will help to guide them to the Jewish arena where they will feel at home.

At YouJewishSpeech.com, we provide a meaningful Jewish experience to every Jew, not matter what their political, religious or ideological persuasion may be! We are proud that our Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah clients tell that that we contributed to making their occasion so special and unforgettable!

Making it extra meaningful: Second Bar/Bat Mitzvah

It has become an increasingly common practice for adult men and women to celebrate an ‘adult” or a “second” Bar or Bat Mitzvah.  Many post- bar mitzvah cash-strapped parents would roll their eyes at the very thought of “going through all of that again”, however there is a very good reason to celebrate a Second Bar Mitzvah in one’s golden years.

Why you celebrate an Adult Bar or Bat Mitzvah?

Under the logic that a “normal” lifespan is 70 years, when a man reaches the age of 83, or a women reaches 82, they will celebrate their second 13th or 12th year. Hollywood actor Kirk Douglas recently celebrated his Second Bar Mitzvah during his 83rd year and said “I felt good, because I felt now I’m 13-years-old again! I can start all over. It was very touching. People said, “Kirk, now you’ve gotten religious.” I don’t think so. ‘Religion’ implies too much ritual. I prefer to say I have become more interested in the spiritual side.”

There are also those who feel that their first Bar/ Bat Mitzvah was celebrated at a time when they were not quite ready or mature enough to undergo a meaningful experience, and they would like to have a second chance. These days it is a rite of passage to celebrate a Bar or Bat Mitzvah however, in years gone by young girls rarely marked their Bat Mitzvah year with a meaningful ceremony, and people often didn’t always have the money, opportunity or knowledge to mark their 13th year. In addition to this, there are people who converted to Judaism at a later stage in life who wanted an opportunity to mark their commitment to the Jewish faith and people.

 

How would you celebrate?

  • You may want to be in touch with your local rabbi to find out how your synagogue/temple celebrates this occasion.
  • You may want to partake in a course of Jewish learning about something that interests you or a new mitzvah/ Jewish commitment that you would like to take on
  • Many people chose to celebrate an intimate occasion with close friends or family at a special restuarant/location. These days you can even take your loved ones on a cruise to mark this occasion. Alternatively you can have a big and fomal occasion
  • Some people want to mark the celebration by making a meaningful contribution (time and/or money) to a cause that is important to them.
  • It is increasingly popular to go to Israel to celebrate a second Bar/Bat Mitzvah
  • It is a nice idea to link the generations on this special occasion – get your children and grandchildren involved in preparations or presentations

If you celebrated your Second/Adult Bar Mitzvah or second/Adult Bat Mitzvah in a meaningful way and would like to share it with us we’d love to hear from you in the comment box below!

Connecting your Bar/Bat Mitzvah project to your Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration

We asked the Bar and Bat Mitzvah project specialists (Areyvut) for some tips to choose a Bar/Bat Mitzvah project, and how to integrate the project into the Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration.  This is what they told us:Bar Mitzvah Fund Raising

Tips for Choosing a Mitzvah Project

Preparing for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah gives you the perfect opportunity to reflect on the positive impact you have had on others and how best to continue on this path. By participating in a Bar/Bat Mitzvah service project, you are given the chance to select a cause that is important to you. You can give back to your community or the world at large in any number of ways including volunteering, centerpieces, doing a service project at your party, fundraising, giveaways, raising awareness about a cause or agency and philanthropic funds……the list is endless. Here are some tips on how to choose a project:

  • Consider what becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah means to you.
  • Think about challenges in the world that you would like your Bnai Mitzvah project to address.
  • Think about Mitzvah projects your friends and relatives have done. What did you like about them?
  • Contact organizations with whom you can partner for your project.
  • Learn more about the problem you are addressing.
  • Include information about your project in your invitation, at the service or party.

Before

  • Include information about your project in your invitation
  • Ask guests to make a donation or bring something appropriate, depending on your cause, such as stuffed animals to your celebration
  • Create a pamphlet about your cause and what your guests can do to help

During

  • Incorporate your Mitzvah project into your speech
  • Incorporate your Mitzvah project into your centerpieces and donate them to your organization after the event
  • Show a video or photo collage or your project at your celebration
  • Place information about your project on each of the tables
  • In lieu of party favors, make donations in honor of your guests

After

  • Reflect upon your experience:  How do you feel about what you did?  What feedback did you receive?
  • Donate your suit or dress
  • Donate any leftover food to a food pantry or homeless shelter
  • Donate a portion of your gift money to your organization
  • Inspire younger students to get involved in making a difference by sharing your experience of doing a Mitzvah project
  • Reference your project in your thank you notes
  • Continue volunteering and/or fundraising for your organization
  • Write thank you notes to everybody who helped make your project a success
  • Contact your local paper to highlight your Mitzvah project.

Further resources
Check out the Areyvut website for more project ideas or to find out about Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah service projects consultation.

Bar and Bat Mitzvah Projects– your chance to make a difference in people’s lives!

The Mitzvah Bowl from mitzvahbowl.comBy participating in a Bar and Bat Mitzvah  service project, you are given the chance to make a real difference in people’s lives. You can give back to your community or the world at large in any number of ways including volunteering, using meaningful centerpieces, doing a service project at your party, fundraising, giveaways, raising awareness about a cause or agency and philanthropic funds……the list is endless.

Tips on how to choose a Bar or Bat Mitzvah project:

• Consider what becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah means to you.
• Think about challenges in the world that you would like your Bar/Bat Mitzvah project to address.
• Think about Mitzvah projects your friends and relatives have done. What did you like about them?
• Contact organizations with whom you can partner for your project.
• Learn more about the problem you are addressing.
• Include information about your project in your invitation, at the service or party.

Areyvut – Bar and Bat Mitzvah Project consultants!
Areyvut is an organization that specializes in helping Bar Mitzvah boys and Bat Mitzvah girls finding the right service project for them.  Some of the projects their Bar Mitzvah kids participated include
•    Fundraising bike-a-thon
•    Father – son charity baseball game
•    Toy collection drives
•    Preparing care packages for American soldiers without family in Israel
•    Raising money for poverty stricken Jews in the former USSR, or refugees in Rwanda

A Bar Mitzvah Boy that made a difference – and hasn’t stopped!
The Areyvut organization profiles Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah kids who made a difference.  On their website you can read about Daniel Dietz from Florham, MA. In 2006 for his Bar Mitzvah project, Daniel decided to raise funds for children in developing countries that cannot afford cleft lip and palate surgery.   At first Daniel aimed to raise $4,500  – which would impact the lives of 18 children.  His plan was simple – to entertain people with his yoyo tricks and encourage them to donate any money they could into his “tip jar” after his performance.  Before he knew it, Daniel had raised over $15,000 and that total continues to climb!  Daniel continues to perform his yoyo tricks throughout the country.

Further resources
Check out the Areyvut website for more project ideas or to find out about Bar Mitzvah and Bat Mitzvah service projects consultation.

Bar Mitzvah Ceremony 101

The Bar Mitzvah ceremony

Bar Mitzvah Boy reading from TorahA bar mitzvah is one of the most important landmark occasions in one’s Jewish life. At the age of 13, the Bar Mitzvah boy is entered into the world of mitzvot, the world in which he assumes responsibility for himself as a member of the Jewish community. The word “bar” is the Aramaic word for “son of”, the word “Mitzvah” means “commandment” in both Hebrew and Aramaic.  Most families celebrate the Bar Mitzvah with a ceremony and then a party.  The party is fun – but the ceremony is really the essence of the Bar Mitzvah year.

When and what?

The Barmitzvah ceremony takes place usually on the Shabbat of the week of the Bar Mitzvah boy’s Hebrew birthday. The Bar Mitzvah boy is called up to read from the Torah, according to the weekly Torah reading (parashat hashavua). This is called an aliyah leTorah. He may read the whole of the parsha, or just a few lines. He will also say the blessings over, and perhaps reads from the Haftarah (the weekly reading from the Prophets).

And then what happens?!

After the bar mitzvah boy has finished reading his portion, it is customary for the congregation to sing in celebration, and in many communities candies are thrown in the synagogue. (Beware- sometimes they are thrown too hard!) Often the aliyah leTorah is followed by some sort of party or celebration, where the Bar Mitzvah boy will give a bar mitzvah speech or a Dvar Torah. In the Bar Mitzvah Dvar Torah, the boy might choose to talk about a topic in the weekly Torah reading, and discuss what the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah means to him.

Giving a speech or Dvar Torah

The parents of the Bar Mitzvah boy may also give a speech or a Dvar Torah. They might choose to discuss an issue from the parsha and it’s relevance to the occasion, or they may share with the bar mitzvah boy some thoughts or ideas that they would like the Bar Mitzvah boy to consider as he stands on the threshold of Jewish manhood.

The implications of being a Bar Mitzvah Boy

According to Jewish law, from the time of his bar mitzvah, the Jewish boy is entitled to lead the service in the synagogue, and he is counted as one of the ten men that make up a minyan. He also is bound to fulfill mitzvot that were considered not obligatory until now.

Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to Hebrew School I go!

Hebrew School for Bar/bat Mitzvah from shulbytheshoreAccording to latest statistics, Hebrew schools are the venue of choice for 60 percent of American children who receive a Jewish education – and more than 80 percent of non-Orthodox children. Hebrew schools can play a very important role in the shaping of our children’s Jewish identity, and therefore as parents of Bar Mitzvah children it is a good idea to choose a school wisely to guarantee your child’s success. At YJS, we have done some research and have provided some invaluable tools to help you.

Hebrew school/Sunday school/religious school?
The first Hebrew school was founded in 1818 in Philadelphia as a means of providing Jewish Education to students who otherwise lacked religious grounding in Jewish traditions and history or lacked the financial means necessary to attend such a school, it was based on the Christian education program and was therefore called Sunday School. Today, Hebrew School is typically taught on Sunday and on one day of the week.  Education starts in kindergarten and culminates in the tenth grade. The term “religious school” is often used as it encompasses a broader approach to Jewish learning and living.
What will my kids learn?
Generally in kindergarten and first grade students, students are taught the basics of the Jewish holidays and Hebrew language.  Learning is often based on hands-on activities such as crafts, music, cooking, storytelling, puzzles and other fun activities.  These skills are developed in 2-5th grade, and pupils are taught Jewish prayer, blessings, mitzvot like tzedakah (charity), rituals, customs, Jewish History and the land of Israel.


Bar/Bat  Mitzvah programs

In the 6th and 7th grade, students begin their Bar and Bat Mitzvah preparations.  Instructors help them learn their Torah portion, and in many schools have developed excellent programs and projects to help the Bnei Mitzvah to integrate the responsibilities of Jewish adulthood into their lives, and to inspire them at the beginning of their Jewish journey to adulthood.

Hebrew school for Bar/Bat Mitzvah from chabadofcalabasas

Some advice in choosing your kids Hebrew School, from Sara Shapiro-Plevan, Coordinator of Congregational Education for the Board of Jewish Education of Greater New York:

  • Make sure that the Hebrew School Program suits your family – both in terms of logistics and content.   What if Shabbat attendance is a requirement but you are often out of town on weekends? What if your son has an after school activity that is very important to him on the day of instruction?  Is the school located far away from your home, or close by in your neighborhood? If your child has particular learning needs or particular interests, find out if the school can accommodate these needs.  Hebrew schools need to choose what their focus of education will be – does their choice align with yours?   Look at the curriculum and make sure it addresses your family’s needs.
  • Get a feel for the Sunday school – Schedule a tour of the school and visit some classes. Ask yourself if things are running smoothly? Are the classrooms cheerful? Is the space appropriate for learning? Are the students happy and engaged? A good program will “feel” good when you’re in the building.  One Hebrew School website we saw said “Imagine a Hebrew School where kids don’t want to miss a day – They come in with a smile and leave humming a Hebrew song. Walking though the halls you can hear the sounds of lively discussion, of singing, laughter, a prayer. Image a child who feels the warmth and spirit of Judaism.”
  • Who’s in Charge?  Meet with the director or principal, and find out what their educational vision is.    Feel free to ask your questions and share any anxieties.
  • Become involved parents – the famous Shema prayer stipulates that parents are responsible for teaching Torah to our kids.  Now while we may not want all want to teach in Hebrew school, it is a good idea to find out how parents are involved in the school. Is there an active School or Education Committee? Are parents invited and encouraged to volunteer?  How can we support our child’s education?
  • Getting more than you gambled for – Often schools are part of synagogue communities that offer a wide variety of programming. There may be post Hebrew School youth programs, children’s prayers services, further education opportunities for parents, social activities – see if you can enrich your entire family through your school of choice!

Making the Decision – as Sara says “at the end of the day, choosing a Hebrew school is a commitment spiritually as well as financially. For the relationship to be successful, both parents and school leaders must be partners in the child’s education and commit to that partnership from the moment the child enters the school until he or she graduates. The entire undertaking is, however, a very personal one, and should be reflective of who you are, and who your child is, and the dreams and aspirations you have for your family.”

Sections of this article were taken from http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Stages/Jewish_Education/Trends/Religious_Schools/Choosing_a_School.shtml