Mitzvah Costs: The Complete List

When you begin to plan your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration, it’s helpful to sit down and come up with a budget. That usually begins with a list of the various vendors you will need to make your child’s celebration special. Your initial list is something similar to the below:

Catering Hall/Venue,
Kiddush,
Yarmulkes, Invitations, DJ,
Photo Favors,
Photographer and Videographer, Centerpieces/Décor,
Sign-in Board,
Favors,
Clothes for Family,
Hair/Make-Up

But what about all the other hidden costs you might not be thinking about? We checked in with a few Mitzvah Moms who have already been through the planning process and they recommend that you remember to think about the following when planning your budget:

Mitzvah party budget

Mitzvah party budget

Lots of tipping – Many venues, entertainment companies and florists will provide you with a list of suggested tips for their staff. This is sometimes a surprise and not something you included in your original budget.

Your favors – They are ordered and look great, but then you realize you want to present them in a bag of some type with tissue paper. This is an extra cost that can come up unexpectedly.

Labels/Water bottles – Hopefully your children can make their own labels on the computer, but you might need to buy cases of water bottles so your guests won’t be thirsty on the ride home!

Place cards – If you are having calligraphy done for your place cards, don’t forget to factor in this added cost.

Stamps/postage – After you approve the text and design of your invitation, your child might talk you into a matching customized stamp from a Website like Zazzle.com. To have a stamp that matches your invitation design or with your child’s initials or their photo, could cost double of what postage would be with a regular stamp.

An additional photo session – Many photographers offer a casual portrait session. If you are a family of girls, the hair and make-up bill is something you might not have thought about.

Amenity baskets – This is usually not remembered until the end of your planning. You might want one for the catering hall bathroom and a basket to hold the yarmulkes at your Temple. Many Moms create these themselves, but you still need to buy the items and in some cases the basket and ribbon.

Amenity baskets from www.thebasketsofdistinction.com

Amenity baskets from www.thebasketsofdistinction.com

Insurance - If your child’s party is during the winter months, you might want to consider taking out some party insurance.

Thank you notes – These are sometimes ordered with the invitations, but it is an additional cost. Additionally, don’t forget about the postage you need to place on these!

Socks – Many of the kids (especially the girls) remove their shoes shortly after arriving at the party. Many Moms buy socks in bulk to have handy for the kids to wear on the dance floor.

Bus Transportation – If your child’s celebration is immediately following your service or if the party is a distance away, you might want to provide bus transportation for the kids. You do need to plan ahead and include this information on your invitations.

Party Security – If your venue doesn’t include this service, you might want to consider hiring outside security so you can enjoy the party knowing that the young guests are being supervised.

End of night treat: Although most parties have terrific dessert buffets, many families choose to have a parting food treat as guests are leaving or a candy buffet with bags. Either way, you need to consider these costs in your budget.

Limo/Car Service – Another last minute thought is to arrange for your immediate family to get to and from the party via limo or car service. This usually isn’t something that goes into your original budget 1-2 years before your planning begins.

Day after Brunch – Why not continue the celebration the day after with a brunch. Although it might only involve bagels and coffee, it does add up!

Creating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah budget is essential in your planning, but is only useful if you include ALL the costs, so there aren’t any surprises.

By Sheri Lapidus, Founder, www.MitzvahMarket.com

Sheri Lapidus is a public relations executive with over 20 years’ experience. After working in various roles at NBC-TV, CBS-TV, In Style and Elle magazines, she founded www.MitzvahMarket.com, a free online resource for Bar/Bat Mitzvah planning families.

Planning a party in Israel – is it feasible?

Minor life-cycle celebrations are usually held at home. When it comes to more significant events, such as Bar or Bat Mitzvahs, weddings and golden anniversaries many Jews throughout America choose to celebrate in Israel. Their major desire is to achieve a personally meaningful experience, and also to support Israel, to cut down their guest list, to avoid social pressures and to minimize costs.

Here are some points to consider when planning your affair in Israel:

 

  • Think about your priorities when choosing your venue. Are you most interested in the religious/historical/spiritual significance or are you looking for a spectacular view or a particular ambiance?
  • Consider the weather and plan accordingly. A daytime outdoor affair in the summer can be very hot and uncomfortable. On the other hand, while Israel is known for its mild winters there is a definite rainy season which can be unpredictable so a contingency plan for an outdoor winter event is necessary.
  • Be aware of bureaucratic requirements. For a marriage to be officially recognized, it must be registered with the Rabbinate. This requires submitting various affidavit-type documents attesting to both parties’ marital status and Judaism some time before the wedding.
  • Familiarize yourself with the ceremony in question. Whether you are celebrating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah or a wedding, there is a range of customs which can be included in or excluded from the ceremony. Certain things which you may take for granted may not be regarded in the same way in Israel. Be sure to discuss all aspects of your ceremony with the presiding Rabbi.
  • Inquire about the method of payment and the currency requested. Each of your service providers may have different requirements. Most are willing to receive payment in either shekels or dollars but many do not take foreign credit cards. Some are hesitant to accept personal dollar checks. Asking will enable you to come prepared.

For a Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration in Israel one may choose to have a prayer service in which the child is called to the Torah. While the rules at the Western Wall permit a service of this kind only for boys, there are other options for girls as well as for boys. The service can then be followed by a short tour and a festive meal.

Marriages in Israel are a religious affair and are performed according to the Orthodox Halacha. There are numerous banquet halls and gardens available for a wedding. Some people choose to conduct their ceremony in one setting and continue the affair in another place.

While it is not absolutely impossible to plan and arrange a party long- distance, there are instances in which personal presence can make the difference between an “okay” choice and an optimal one. Hiring a party planner can be the ideal solution. Choosing one who is flexible enough to allow you to determine your degree of involvement in decision making and choices will enable you to feel that this is truly your own affair.

Written by Adina Buchs, proprietor of “B’Rosh Shaket” party and event planning.

Israel Party Planner
www.broshaket.com
adina@broshaket.com
972-52-3803048

A different kind of Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration!

OK, OK – this is an attempt at being lighthearted!  Personally, I think it’s great!

Harvey wanted to celebrate his son Josh’s Bar Mitzvah in a unique and spectacular way.  None of that “keeping up with the Goldbergs” for him – Harvey was The Trendsetter himself!

Having looked into a Bar Mitzvah cruise and a Bar Mitzvah Safari, he decided that his big surprise would be a Bar Mitzvah in space!  He would rent a spaceship and Josh would be the first Bar Mitzvah space boy.

Space Theme Bar Mitzvah

Space Theme Bar Mitzvah from zimensioncards.com

When the big day came, the spaceship took off with his family, friends and Rabbi.  They had a wonderful time, and when they returned, the local Jewish press was waiting to find out all about the journey.

The first person off the shuttle was the Zaydie.
“How was the service?” the reporter inquired.

“Not bad,” she replied.
“And how was Josh’s speech?”
“Not bad.”
“So how was the food?”
“Not bad.”
“Everything was just not bad? Why aren’t you more enthusiastic? What went wrong?”

Zaydie sighed and replied: “There was no atmosphere.”

It’s all about the Party Favors!

Many people chose to leave their guests Party Favors: a parting gift or souvenir from their Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah celebration. This serves as a token of thanks for participating in the event and helping to make it so special, and also serves as a reminder of the special occasion.

Magnet Bar Mitzvah party favors from special people - Aleh.org

Magnet Bar Mitzvah party favors from special people - Aleh.org

Here are a few ideas of original and meaningful gifts you can leave for you visitors:

  • “Images Through Time” Grace After Meals booklet (Bencher) – Perhaps one of the most stunning benchers I have ever seen, produced by Israeli photographer Rebecca Kowalsky. Check it out yourself!
  • A kindness a day desk calendar - Areyvut’s calendar features 365 ways to make a difference, each correlating to a Jewish source.
  • Beautiful ceramic hearts, chamsot, guitars or mezuzot made by the young adults at Aleh.  Aleh is Israel’s largest network of residential facilities for children with severe physical and cognitive disabilities.
  • Go Green with potted mini trees. You can attach a small tag with table information to each tree or write your guests names on the pots. Remember to print planting and care instructions on the back of the tag.
  • Check out these recycled paper products.
  • Beautiful kippot that change lives – crafted by the Mayan women behind MayaWorks. Sales support the remote villages in Guatemala where these women live. We’ve been told that you should order early, as they are very busy.
  • Buy trees in Israel -  The Jewish National Fund is the resource from whom you buy trees to be planted in Israel. They also offer invitations.

We asked our wonderful facebook groupies for more ideas, this is what they suggested:

  • We did personalized airbrush shirts. I saw ones that were both embroided and airbrushed.
  • Next best were dog tags!
  • Candy too! M&Ms come personalized

Bar Mitzvah Ceremony 101

The Bar Mitzvah ceremony

Bar Mitzvah Boy reading from TorahA bar mitzvah is one of the most important landmark occasions in one’s Jewish life. At the age of 13, the Bar Mitzvah boy is entered into the world of mitzvot, the world in which he assumes responsibility for himself as a member of the Jewish community. The word “bar” is the Aramaic word for “son of”, the word “Mitzvah” means “commandment” in both Hebrew and Aramaic.  Most families celebrate the Bar Mitzvah with a ceremony and then a party.  The party is fun – but the ceremony is really the essence of the Bar Mitzvah year.

When and what?

The Barmitzvah ceremony takes place usually on the Shabbat of the week of the Bar Mitzvah boy’s Hebrew birthday. The Bar Mitzvah boy is called up to read from the Torah, according to the weekly Torah reading (parashat hashavua). This is called an aliyah leTorah. He may read the whole of the parsha, or just a few lines. He will also say the blessings over, and perhaps reads from the Haftarah (the weekly reading from the Prophets).

And then what happens?!

After the bar mitzvah boy has finished reading his portion, it is customary for the congregation to sing in celebration, and in many communities candies are thrown in the synagogue. (Beware- sometimes they are thrown too hard!) Often the aliyah leTorah is followed by some sort of party or celebration, where the Bar Mitzvah boy will give a bar mitzvah speech or a Dvar Torah. In the Bar Mitzvah Dvar Torah, the boy might choose to talk about a topic in the weekly Torah reading, and discuss what the occasion of his Bar Mitzvah means to him.

Giving a speech or Dvar Torah

The parents of the Bar Mitzvah boy may also give a speech or a Dvar Torah. They might choose to discuss an issue from the parsha and it’s relevance to the occasion, or they may share with the bar mitzvah boy some thoughts or ideas that they would like the Bar Mitzvah boy to consider as he stands on the threshold of Jewish manhood.

The implications of being a Bar Mitzvah Boy

According to Jewish law, from the time of his bar mitzvah, the Jewish boy is entitled to lead the service in the synagogue, and he is counted as one of the ten men that make up a minyan. He also is bound to fulfill mitzvot that were considered not obligatory until now.

The very best Bar Mitzvah Invitations

We’re on the prowl for the best Bar/Bat Mitzvah invitations! If you think you have got one that is worthy…then let us know!

Eyal Goodman’s Bar Mitzvah Invitation:

 

To Speech writer..or not not to Speech writer: that is the question!

bat mitzvah speech from fatherYou don’t know whether to hire a speech writer for your son’s Bar Mitzvah or your daughters Bat Mitzvah?  You’re not alone!  When people come across our service, they are often hesitant to use it!  To help you decide, we have published a real email conversation between us and a client…

Client:
Would you have any samples of speeches that I can read just to get a feel for what you are writing and the style.  I’m concerned that I may not be happy with the end result.

Us:
Thank you for contacting us, and mazal tov on your upcoming function

I appreciate your concern, and you are absolutely right to be discerning!  However, I must tell you that right now we don’t have sample speeches as the speeches that we write are considered the property of our clients, and ethically we cannot pass them on.  In terms of our writing and style, we wrote 100% of the articles on our website, so that can give you a fair idea. So if you go to http://www.yourjewishspeech.com/bar-mitzvah and look for the articles there, I hope it will give you a feeling of how we write.  In addition to that, our style changes according to who is the speaker.  Every speaker has different needs (we have clients from every part of the religious/secular spectrum) and also, some of our clients would like their speech to be meaningful, some philosophical, some learned, humorous etc.  We conduct an interview with our prospective clients and try to understand what their “style” and their “voice” needs to sound like.

And then, after the first draft, we are there to work with you, we are open to any feedback, and the more feedback you give us, the more we can work to make changes or refine the speech so it fits you 100%.  On top of all that, if you are not happy with the speech, even after you have given us full feedback, then we will give you your entire fee back (and then we would have ownership of the speech). We have never had to do this.
Finally, please look at our testimonials page,  they were all written by real people!  Please read this also , it is actually written a client, a mother of a Bat Mitzvah girl. Since we did her speech in May 2010, we have done two others for her.

So, if you would like to proceed, one of our speech writers can give you a call to discuss further (no obligations). Please will you send your phone number, and to help us choose a speech writer for you, could you also give us an idea of who the speech is for, and also if you have a specific tone/style that you are looking for (meaningful, some philosophical, some learned, humorous etc).  Please also let us know the date of the Bat Mitzvah!
Looking forward to working with you!

Tali

Client:

Hello Tali,
The speech would be from me to my wonderful daughter for her Bat Mitzvah, November 15, 2010.
All my life I had no problem expressing my thoughts, particularly on paper.  This however is much harder than I had anticipated.  I want the speech to be meaningful, sentimental but at the same time lighthearted.
I can be reached on my cell XXXXX  any morning after 10am.

A week after the Bat Mitzvah. Debbie was his designated speech writer

Us:
How are you doing?  Mazal Tov on your daughter’s Bat Mitzvah last week, I hope everything went smoothly, and that it was a really meaningful occasion.

I am writing because I want I wanted to follow up on your thoughts about our service, especially since you were very discerning before deciding to go ahead with our service (and rightfully so!)

Debbie and I wanted to know if in fact the service was helpful and if it met expectations, or not.  Also, how did you use the speech – did you read it as is, or did you use it as a framework to continue your own ideas?  Is there any other feedback that might be helpful?

Many thanks, and once again mazal tov on your special occasion!

Client:

Hi Tali,

Thank you very much.  My daughter did a wonderful job at the service. Debbie wrote a very good speech.  I used her speech mainly as a framework.  I could not have done it without her.  She helped me organize my thoughts and feelings.  I am so happy I found you and hope to have more happy occasions to use your service.

Thank you and have a Happy and Healthy New Year!!!!!

So there it is – more than 95% of our clients tell us that hiring a speech writer for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah was one of the best decisions they made for their occasion, if you are interested in finding out more about our service at yourjewishspeech.com then contact us now!

 


Budgeting Tips for your Bar Mitzvah

Budgeting for your Bar MitzvahIf at just the thought of your Bar or Bat Mitzvah party expenses you break into a nervous sweat – you’re not alone!  According to partyspot.com, the average person spends around $9500 on a Bar or Bat Mitzvah party, which is not to be scoffed at.  At  YourJewishSpeech.com we want to help our readers cut the unnecessary costs, so you can invest money in the most important aspects of your party.

So here is what we’ve come up with:

  • Trim Your Guest List – we know that it’s tempting to invite anyone that you ever talked to, but less guests means less money.
  • It’s all about timing – Saturday night is the most expensive night to celebrate. Many service providers and vendors charge extra, so to keep costs down, go for a week night or day party.
  • Bar/Bat  Mitzvah D.I.Y. – certain aspects of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah can be DIY’ed – for example décor, center pieces and party favors.  If you are somewhat creative, or have a friend or family member that can help you, you may want to research your options!
  • Inclusive location – the more party details you have to deal with yourself, the more expensive it will probably be.  Try and choose a location that can provide as many of your needs as possible, so you don’t have to rent or buy from another provider.  For example many halls have in-house caterers who will be less expensive than an external one.  You don’t want to rent chairs, crockery, silverware – try and get a location that has them.  Often your location has connections with providers who will give you special rates.
  • Two for the price of one – if you ordered a floral arrangement or decor for the synagogue on Saturday morning, plan use it at the party location also.
  • Prioritize – make a list of everything that you ever wanted in your dream Bar Mitzvah celebration.  Then make a star next to the items that you just can’t live without.  You may find that you can’t live without the dry ice smoke machine, but the pop corn and cotton candy vendors now seem “optional” (or visa versa).

Remember – there will be items that are very important to you, don’t cut corners when it come to those things.  For example, your 15 year old nephew may only charge $100 for taking charge of bar mitzvah photographs..

 

  • ..but it is worth being on the safe side and investing in a great photographer.

I'm a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Parent Facebook groupThe wonderful and helpful readers from our Facebook page I’m a Bar Mitzvah Parent – Give Me a Break have come up with some more good ideas, this is what they said:

Julian: “Create your own invitation or get it created by someone but then send it to your friends and family abroad by email only.”

Haddassah: “Print invitations on your printer at home, my sister is a graphic designer so she made us something really pretty. We printed it out on nice thick-ish paper for our local guests and emailed copies (pdf) to friends overseas. Use a DIY playlist for the music, make your own powerpoint presentation (no one cares if it’s not professional looking.)”

Alana: “Here’s a tip about surviving the expense of all the other bar/bat mitzvot of the year group: My girls’ class parents got together and decided that, instead of each kid buying a present for every other kid’s bat mitzvah (which can turn out very costly when you have 37 in the class!), we each contributed a certain amount at the beginning of the year. Each kid could then choose one out of 5 presents that would be given to them on behalf of the classmates. I think our choices were machzorim, voucher from Magnolia, voucher for bed linen, sleeping bag and camping stuff and something else I forget. All parents have to agree though not to buy extra presents for their kid’s friend’s celebrations.”

Daniel: “You can cut costs by doing DIY centerpieces! You can use colored stones in wine glasses from IKEA, or go get some ideas at a craft or dollar store, or buy seasonal plants that people can take home, you can probably google it for more ideas…”

Ellen: “Consider a Destination Bar/Bat Mitzvah for your family & friends.
Your celebration can be so much more casual with less hassle and expense than an event at home…vacation is included!”

Julia: “A huge way to cut your costs is to revisit your guest list.  Less guests is less money.”

So there’s some fantastic Bar Mitzvah party budgeting tips from YJS and our FB friends, do you have any more to share?

If you found these ideas helpful, please feel free to “share” or “like” it!

Read this two weeks before your son’s Bar Mitzvah: last minute Bar Mitzvah Tips

You may have been planning your sons Bar Mitzvah for months now, and everything is ready  – the bar mitzvah invitations are out, the bar mitzvah caterer has been chosen (and is cooking away) and your son has been chanting through the nights as he practices his Torah portion.  You have worked so hard…and soon this is all going to be wonderful memory!  But DON”T let yourself fall on the small details!  We have compiled a list of tips to make sure that you won’t forget anything important, and the bar mitzvah function will run smoothly and according to plan!

Make a Bar Mitzvah listGetting organized – We recommend that you have a folder that you use to keep important documents, quotations, lists etc from the time you start planning your bar mitzvah. Two weeks before the bar mitzvah, organize the folder so that the old documents are at the back, and the important documents and lists are at the front and easy to access.

Purchases: There will always be last minute purchases.  Make sure you have a list of what hasn’t been bought yet for the bar mitzvah – it could be hair clips for the little sister or a pen for the guest book – just write it down!

Phone calls: write a list of people you need to call before the function. We recommend you call all the vendors to confirm that they are ready for your function.  You may want to call a babysitter to help you out with the little kids on the day of the bar mitzvah, or perhaps you want to call an aunt to make sure that she has ordered a cab, and she will be there on time.

Delegate - if there are things that need to be done, but you don’t have to be the one to do it, make a list and ask a trusted family member to do it for you. Make a list for yourself of that you have asked him/her to do, and make a time to call them to go through the list to confirm that everything is done according to plan!

Bar Mitzvah photos – when everything is over, these will be your tangible memories. Write a list for the photographer of the important people to photograph, and make sure that s/he knows who they are.

Honoring special people – you may want to honor family and special friends. Make a list of the most important people there, and think of ways to involve them in the bar mitzvah service or at the bar mitzvah party.  Make sure that your special people know where to be there, and when!

Special diets – make sure you know who has special dietary requirements at your bar mitzvah – like vegetarians, vegans or people sensitive to sugar etc. Make sure there are alternatives and options for them.

 
Seating - Arrange your seating plan so that your older guests are as far from the music and loudspeakers as possible.

 
Flowers – You can arrange with either the florist or the caterer to reuse the flowers if you are having the bar mitzvah in stages –in the synagogue, at the party and then at home!

 
Do you have any other hints to share? Please let us know in the comment box below!

102 cracking Bar and Bat Mitzvah Theme Ideas

You’re looking to find a fantastic theme for your son’s bar mitzvah or your daughter’s bat mitzvah.  Well you can stop looking now.  Here it is, the longest Bar and Bat Mitzvah theme idea list that you will find on the web!  Let us know what works for you.  If you have any more ideas feel free to comment below!

  1. My Favorite Place
  2. Me in the future
  3. Chesed theme
  4. International traveler
  5. The beach
  6. Hawaii
  7. Hobbies and passions – dancing, soccer, singing
  8. Colors or color combination’sBar Mitzvah Theme Idea from parthythemeshop.com
  9. A time in history (Choose one like ancient egypt, the sixties, the reneissance)
  10. favorite movie
  11. My Jewish heroes
  12. My heroes
  13. Travelling
  14. Israel
  15. Books – choose one or do a few
  16. Collection theme – stamps, stickers, cards
  17. Candyland theme
  18. Torah portion theme – let the characters come to life
  19. Oscar night
  20. Grand prix
  21. Sports – choose a sport or do a few
  22. Hollywood
  23. Fairy Tale / Princess Theme
  24. Mystery – Sherlock Holmes
  25. rock ‘n roll
  26. Games
  27. Magic
  28. Twelve (for girls)
  29. Thirteen (for boys)
  30. Social justice
  31. A green world
  32. Under the sea
  33. Fishing
  34. On the pitch
  35. Candyland
  36. TV program
  37. American idol
  38. American History
  39. Jewish HistoryBlue, white and gold theme
  40. Eighties
  41. Starry starry night
  42. Mitzvah theme
  43. Challah making
  44. Jewish women
  45. Shopping
  46. Camping
  47. Monoploy
  48. Disney
  49. Science
  50. Fiesta
  51. NYC
  52. Broadway
  53. Luau
  54. Polka dots
  55. Western
  56. Balloons and bubbles
  57. All aboard (ships)
  58. Biking
  59. Transport
  60. Computers
  61. Avatars
  62. Vacation time
  63. Midnight
  64. Twilight
  65. Safari
  66. Outer space
  67. Presidents
  68. Caricatures
  69. American cities
  70. Capitals of the world
  71. International food
  72. Art
  73. Fun fair
  74. Where is waldo
  75. Flags
  76. Enchanted forest
  77. My family
  78. My life
  79. My town
  80. Israel
  81. Trivia
  82. Spring
  83. Garden party
  84. Cheerleaders
  85. Superbowl
  86. Olympics
  87. Facebook
  88. Hippies
  89. Gypsy
  90. The undergroundWilly Wonka Bar Mitzvah theme
  91. Super heroes
  92. Circus
  93. High school
  94. Lady bugs
  95. Robots
  96. Disneyland
  97. In the castle
  98. Garden of Eden
  99. Willy Wonka
  100. crafts
  101. bbq
  102. In the park

Choosing the theme is just the beginning, next you plan your Bar/Bat Mitzvah based around it!

What is your favorite Bar/Bat Mitzvah theme?