At this evening BATdad and I presented to BATgirl the Bat Mitzvah Box (beautifully decorated by the BATsisters).  The Bat Mitzvah Box contains 12 gifts for her 12 years. With no further ado – here are the contents of the BATbox (in Bat Mitzvah Parent speech format)!

BATbox with stencil, food erasors, bubbles and paints

1. The Rubics cube –   BATgirl, we put this Rubics Cube in the Bat Mitzvah box, because you love learning new things, exploring new ideas and finding out how things work. Your teachers always tell us that you have the best general knowledge, and you are way ahead of your friends in your knowledge of Torah, Israel and even science subjects. We hope that you continue to be curious, to ask questions and to learn throughout your life, and we hope that we can always be there to answer your questions and forward you as you strive for knowledge, understanding and solutions!
2. Place markers.  We bought this for you because you have been nagging us for them! You want them for your new siddur.  You’re absolutely right – you should have place markers to mark important tefilot, and also you should make yourself place markers to remember important days, important people, and important events.  In other words – know what and who is important in your life and look after it/them – nurture it/them. Examples of important things can be chagim or birthdays, your family, friends or teachers, your hobbies and talents even your memories.  Recognize the important things in your life and make sure that you make space for them.
3. Food erasers – of course you are not a fussy eater – that is if you have rice, pasta or cous cous!  When it comes to the rest of the menu, it is a bit harder to convince you to eat. For that reason we put some food rubbers in the Bat Mitzvah box – we want to encourage you to be adventurous – try something new.  This can be with food, and this can be with experiences.  We have seen this year how you have become much more open to trying new things and we are very proud of your efforts – keep it up!
4. Paints – I remember one time I came with you to a lesson with your art teacher.  You were painting something, and you really wanted pink. But not any pink, a very specific pink.  You mixed red and white to get the color, and at first you put too much white, and then you put too much red. You kept on adding and mixing and mixing and adding until you finally found the exact pink you wanted.  I was so proud of how you knew what you wanted and you didn’t compromise until you got it!  That is a very good quality and I know it will take you far in life – in fact I can’t wait to see where it will take you in life, I am already kvelling with pride at your future achievements!  BATgirl, we put some paints in the Bat Mitzvah box, and we hope that you continue to mix colors with confidence and creativity, and that you continue to strive to achieve all of your visions.
   

   Israel flower - May she grow and blossom Bracelet - with varying beads

5. Israel flower -  In the Bat Mitzvah box you will see an Israel flower –  a flower with an Israeli flag.  You, BATgirl, are our Israel flower – our Sabra!  We hope that you continue to grow and blossom here in Israel!
6. Bracelet – The reason why I chose this bracelet is because the beads are all different patterns, shapes and sizes.  You know, the difference between all the beads is what makes the bracelet beautiful – and this is the same with our family.  Each of us  – Abba, Ima, You, BATsister1, BATsister2 and even BATboy is a different person with different strengths and weaknesses, different likes and dislikes, different personalities – it is when we bring all of our differences together that we can be a team-  working together at our best.  I hope that this bracelet in your Bat Mitzvah box will remind you of how important it is that each one of us is different, and how we are most beautiful when we bring all our personal qualities together.
   

   From a large family tree

7. Tree card – Since you started your Bat Mitzvah roots project we have talked a lot about our family tree. Last Friday we joked that in fact your name isn’t just BATgirl Tarlow – it is BATgirl Rothenstern Kahanowitz Leon Kaplinski Shinbaum Rurka Yankelowitz Tarlow.  We spoke about your grandparents and great grandparents and the contribution that they made to their communities.  Don’t worry –we didn’t insist that all those names would be printed on your new Machzor, however we put this tree in the Bat Mitzvah box, because we would like you to remember that you are part of a much greater family tree. The family tree doesn’t stop at your great grandfathers who were community leaders, partisans, doctors, soldiers and volunteers, and it doesn’t stop at your great grandmothers who were home makers, nurturers, talented and creative women. Your family tree goes all the way back to the Shvatim and the Avot.  You are a descendent of Cohanim from Shevet Levi and maybe the tribe of Yehudah – you are part of a great family and a great nation, so walk with pride and dignity!
8. Cards – Chazal say that we are called Yehudim because we have the ability to say Toda – to acknowledge in front of Hashem and others He has done something for us that we couldn’t have done ourselves.  You will find in here a little box with 10 cards. We recommend that you think about who you want to thank, and what you want to thank them for – and write them a note to express your appreciation.
9. Stencil – BATgirl, from your grandparents you received Machzorim, from school you received a beautiful siddur – we have nothing left to give but this stencil.  We hope that you give the siddur and machzor good use, but we also hope that you can find your own way to send your hopes, thoughts and prayers to Hashem – here are some letters – you can make the words!
   

   The blue croc keyring has found a home

10. Blue Croc keyring - we think you will like this – it looks like your favorite blue croc!  We got this comfy shoe, because you have come a long way in your 12 years, and the shoe represents the path that you have come on. This year started off as quite a difficult one for you, but you pulled though with new strengths – we are very very proud of you!  BATgirl, being a Bat Mitzvah girl means you are now an adult with adult responsibilities – this is a new path for you to go on, and we want you to know that we are with you all of the way!
11. Bubbles – Yes – these are bubbles!  Bubbles are fun!  We have expressed lots of hopes for you, and given much advice to you – at the end of the day we hope that you have fun and enjoy!  In your life as a Torah Jew you should have simcha in fulfilling the mitzvot and building a relationship with Hashem, and in your personal life you should have lots of great adventures and fun memories!
12. Blank paper – Finally – this looks like a blank piece of paper, but actually BATgirl – it is your flag!  Last week we designed another flag for you. Many of the important people in your life colored this flag and sent us the photo’s – we’ll see them all in a few minutes.  This flag is for you – it is blank and we hope that in the years to come, as you continue to grow, as your talents and strengths continue to develop you will design your own flag. BATgirl – we look forward to watching you Wave your Flag – mazal tov!

And now, click below to watch the amazing journey of BATgirl growing up and see her friends and loved one’s Waving her Flag!

Sign at the entrance to Machon Ayalon

In the 1930-40’s in Palestine under the British mandate, Jews could be arrested and even executed for the crime of owning a weapon or ammunition.   Let me remind you that from even before the 1929 Hebron Massacre where 67 Jews were murdered by their Arab neighbors, over the next 20 years and towards the British retreat from Palestine in May 1948, the Arabs of Palestine and neighboring countries were well armed and ready to attack the Jewish community.  Despite an international arms embargo, it was absolutely necessary for the Jewish community to attain weapons to defend themselves, and to ensure that they would have enough resources to win the pending war for a national homeland.

Machon Ayalon was a clandestine ammunition factory, built daringly close to a British army camp – literally “under the nose” of the British.  It was hastily built in 3 weeks to be 8 meters (25 feet) under the ground and it operated daily for 3 years. Above the ground, Machaon Ayalon appeared to be no more than a kibbutz. Of the 90 people who lived on the Kibbutz, 45 of them, (family and spouses of the factory workers who had not been enlisted for this highly dangerous mission) had no idea what was going on beneath their feet.

A model in the under ground bullet factory

During our visit to Machon Ayalot, BATgirl and the extended BATfamily learnt the incredible story of Machon Ayalon.  We learnt about the dangers and obstacles that the factory workers had to overcome to keep their invaluable mission going: How could they suppress the noise of the machinery?  How could the worker get fresh air?  How could the workers get sunlight so no one would suspect that they were not really working in the orchards?  How could they keep the British soldiers at bay?  How could they deliver their bullets to strategic locations all over Israel?

The laundry workshop hid the entrance to the Bullet Factory at Machon Ayalon

During the tour we learnt about….well we can call it “Chutzpah” or “a Yiddishe Kop” or even “brazen Israeli-ness” which calls to defy dangers and obstacles, and to come up with solution after creative solution.  We were inspired by the determination never to allow ourselves to be defeated by the odds!

After our tour, we ate some cake that BATgirl and her sisters made, and Dod A, who is a reserve soldier in the Israeli army shared with BATgirl and the rest of us about the importance of serving the country that we live in.

David Ben Gurion said it as it is:

Ben Gurion on Machon Ayalon (Ta'as = Machon Ayalom)

What an important stop in our BATmitzvah year program!

What to eat at a Bar/Bat Mitzvah?

All these seemingly silly deliberations are in fact signs of a healthy attitude towards your child’s important coming of age.  One might think that focusing on things like menus, decorations and themes are in fact superficial values that put across the wrong messages to our children and family. Maybe we should role model more serious principles and concentrate on their mitzva projects and acts of kindness…

The energy we put in to our celebrations give our child subliminal messages that only later on can be appreciated fully. As adults we make sense of earlier events in our lives and parents behavior with greater insight. A parent who spent what seems like a silly amount of time wanting to please their guest’s palettes perhaps is actually showing a strong sense of regard and concern for others and delights in being able to make people feel comfortable. Perhaps deliberations over color schemes convey a concern for estheticism that contributes in creating an atmosphere of joy and cheer for ones guests.

Most importantly though perhaps is the underlying message conveyed by the parent to his child: you, my son/daughter are worthy of my time and effort and financial investment. Your day, your coming of age is of utmost importance and demands my fullest attention and planning.

Bar Mitzvah Boy

There is no need to remind us though that like all well meaning intentions, taken to the extreme, these sentiments could indeed create the opposite message to our kids. If we spend long hours into the night with the caterer and decorator while ignoring our child’s need for help with school work for example, he might very well come to believe he is of much less importance then the beef bourguignon. So, as with all things, staying balanced between all the various factors will guarantee your child’s bar and bat mitzvah will be a scared memory which recognizes and appreciates your parental effort in instilling in them their value and worth.

Do you agree that attention to the Bat/Bar Mitzvah celebration detail is of utmost importance?  We’d love to hear your thoughts!

Time: 17:50pm – it’s dark and very C-O-L-D

Place: Old City, Jerusalem

Participants: BATgirl, and the BATfamily, grandparents and most of her aunts, uncles and cousins

Destination: Kotel Tunnels

Kotel Tunnels

As we entered the Kotel Tunnels, our guide introduced himself and explained to us the history of the Kotel Tunnels. In short, Herod, the Great builder and lunatic King, decided to renovate the Second Temple as one of his magnificent and ambitious building projects. Being that the Temple stood on a relatively small Jerusalem mountain peak (identified as Har HaMoriah where Avraham bound Isaac and learnt the nature of Jewish faith) and space was limited, he built a massive platform and expanded the Temple Mount area to a huge plaza  measuring about 2,575 by 985 feet, with eight gates. These efforts more than doubled the size of the Temple building.

Model of the magnificent Second Temple built on the man made Temple Mount

The Western Wall that we know today, is not a remaining wall from the Temple itself, it is the Western supporting wall of the plaza platform, and it is  the closest we can get to the Holy of Holies – the sacred space where only the Kohen HaGadol (High Priest) would go once a year, on Yom Kippur.

Four years after Herod’s Temple was finally completed, it was destroyed by the Romans, and Jewish History – in short – from takes a choppy and bloody road downwards!   Fast forward 1500 years from the destruction of the Temple: the Temple Mount now houses a mosque and a Muslim shrine, and the Mamluk (Turk) rulers of Israel have built a Muslim neighborhood literally on and around 90% of the western supporting wall of the Temple Mount. A symbolic 10% was left unbuilt on, part of this was used as an area to dump garbage – the Western Wall.

Western wall last in the 19th century

The Western Wall tunnels are actually a result of a very delicate digging operation which started after 1967. The digging project involved digging beneath the residential neighborhoods which were built against the Western Wall on top of ancient structures from the Second Temple period. The diggings required close supervision by experts in the fields of structural engineering, archeology and Jewish law. After almost twenty years, and despite large difficulties, the Western Wall Tunnels were revealed, literally becoming a time tunnel, transporting anyone in them to Jerusalem in the first century C.E – the greatest days in the history of the city.

Our tour in the labyrinths along the length of the Western Wall was half in English, half in Hebrew – to suit the different needs of three generations of participants. Batgirl and her siblings, parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins participated in a bit of role play, a bit of running and climbing, a bit of squeezing into tight spots, and a lot of discovering incredible and surprising sights. In short, we got to build a vivid picture in our minds of Ancient Jerusalem.

After our tour, we reconvened at Bibi’s (a great steak bar in Talpiot), Dod Yishai was invited to share some thoughts with BATgirl.  He reminded us that our Kotel Tunnels tour took place just a few days after 10^th of Tevet, the date that marks the destruction of the Jewish Temple.  This tour in face signified the closing of a circle. Despite the Jewish tragedy that caused destruction and exile for the Jewish people, we were three generations of Tarlow’s and Kaplinski’s, coming from at least 3 different continents, all of us Israeli’s walking through the Holiest of spaces in modern and rebuilt Jerusalem. In the tunnels by the Western wall of the Temple Mount, we celebrated the closed the circle of the wandering Jew, we had reached the end of the long journey.  We are finally home!  We celebrated Batgirl’s commitment to the Jewish people, our land and our Torah.  It was very meaningful and the family celebration was complete.

My husband and I came early, as I had a work meeting and was not able to stay for long. When we arrived we were stunned by the beautiful sight of lime covered tables with the cutest blow up animals as centerpieces. This was a cheerful sight, but food was not on display yet, and there was no music.  It was clear to us the food and festive spirit was not going to be the focus of the occasion.

Simchat Bat Blow up animal Centerpieces

This hunch was confirmed when, as the hall filled up with visitors, Ilan invited the guests to come to the center of the room and form a circle.  We did so, and Ilan explained that he had asked his Rabbi whether he could have a celebration party for his baby daughter in the traditional year of mourning. The Rabbi suggested that he could, but it should be immediately after the initial 30 days of mourning.

Ilan then explained that the baby will be brought through the circle of visitors to the lap of her grandmother, Ilan’s mother, by Ilan and Shani. The baby was passed by Shani’s mother on a pink pillow to Shani, and the women visitors were encouraged to put jewelry on the pillow as a symbol of the righteous women in the desert who volunteered their jewelry to build the holy sanctuary.  (Don’t worry, the jewelry was returned!) Holding candles Shani and Ilan carried their baby girl to her paternal grandmother, who placed the pillow with the content baby on her lap. Shani and Ilan sprinkled salt around the baby to represent the preciousness and eternity.

Pink pillow for the baby girl

Unfortunately at that point I had to run, I heard that Ilan spoke beautifully, that there was the singing of lovely Jewish melodies and the food was great.  Although I was there for only a short time, the message that I got from Shani and Ilan’s Simchat Bat, was that the food and lighthearted spirits was secondary to the meaning and content of the occasion.

Mazal Tov Shani and Ilan on the birth of your precious baby girl, may you have much nachas from her, and may she and you be blessed with all things good and happy!

Blessings to you Shani and Ilan!

Were you at an especially meaningful Simchat Bat ceremony? I’d love to hear about it!

This phenomenon of entertaining girlfriends at their Bat Mitzvah celebrations has become de rigueur in the past few years. The bat mitzvah girl looks forward with great anticipation to find out what her friends are going to say about her in public at her special moment. Its probably one of the highlights of the evening as far as she is concerned so being given the task of delivering the best-friend speech is an honor but a nail-biting one!

Best Friend Bat Mitzvah speech

So, how are you going to help your daughter get it just right??   Here are a few guidelines you might find helpful:

• Help your daughter compose a list of the Bat mitzvah girl’s qualities that make her her ‘best friend’
• Make sure the list contains only positive descriptions. Now is the time to give loads of compliments and make the Bat Mitzvah girl feel special
• Although your daughter and her best friend have their secrets and special language, the speech should only mention things that everyone can understand. The audience should be happy to listen to the speech and not be made to feel excluded from the best friends’ special relationship.
• This is not the time to outshine the Bat Mitzvah at her own party so make sure your daughter doesn’t try to be too clever….
• … but its great if she can tell funny little stories to bring a smile to the audiences faces
• If your daughter is part of a group of friends make sure they all have an equal input to avoid anyone feeling left out. Even if one has a clearer voice then the rest they should all be able to participate and do their bit speaking.
• If your daughter has decided to write and sing a song make sure it is a tune everyone can hum along to. It’s also best to keep the words and the melody simple. Off tune singing with difficult lyrics are hard to follow and the moment will be lost…

Bat Mitzvah - best friends for ever

Ultimately your daughter should have great fun composing a speech for her best friend. It’s a time for her to show how much she loves her friend and enjoys their friendship. It’s also a great step into the world of public speaking which is a very daunting task to most people. Ensuring that she has a great time with this project will make future public speaking engagements a breeze and who knows, she might be asked to deliver the maid-of-honor address at her best friends wedding….

Do you know any Best Friends Bat Mitzvah speech success or horror stories?  Please tell us about them below.

A couple of years ago one of these friends called me and asked whether I made Bar Mitzvah guest books. She wanted one for her son’s upcoming celebration and, since she was already a regular purchaser of my handmade cards and knew the style of my work, wanted me to make one. A new product was born!

Handmade Bar Mitzvah guest book

We e-mailed back and forth a few times and I gathered information about her son. I learnt what his favourite sport was, which animals he liked and on which arm he wears his tefillin! From all this information a very personal book was put together for all his friends and family to sign at the party. Both the Bar Mitzvah boy and his Mum loved it!

Word spread and I have made many guest books since then. My own father-in-law was celebrating a significant birthday and I was finding it hard to think of a good present for him. “What about doing him one of your books, then on his birthday lunch people could write in it and we could put in photos?” my sister-in-law said. A customized guest book it was, decorated with his name and papercut illustrations of his various hobbies and interests. From first-hand experience I can tell you that it brought great joy to my elderly father-on-law on his special day.

My handmade books are perfect as a guest book or photo album for any celebration and can be customized on the cover and on several pages inside to reflect the person or couple’s interests and hobbies. It makes a great gift for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, special birthday, wedding or any other happy occasion.

Hand made Bat Mitzvah guest book

When an order for a book is made I ask for the name(s) and date the customer wishes to use on the cover, or a short message if they prefer. This can be in English or Hebrew. I also request a list of the hobbies and interests, favorite pet, color and anything else that is special to the person they intend to give the book to. They might also like to send me a photo of that person so that I can match hair and eye color, hair length, style etc. Please remember though that my papercuts are by no means portraits.

The guest book itself has a pale wooden cover with a black spine and is a good size at 30x30cm. There are 20 (40 front and back) high quality cream colored pages inside, for messages that can be written in any pen. The pages are also suitable for gluing photos on to. The book comes in a matching presentation box and is wrapped in tissue for safekeeping.

Hand made Bat Mitzvah guest book

Please allow me 2 weeks to complete your book and anything between 5 and 21 working days for shipping, depending on your location. If you need it sooner please let me know right away and I will do my best to accommodate.

I am British-born but Israel has been my home for more than 16 years. All of my work is designed and made in the new city of Modi’in. If you would like to see what I am currently working on please go to my blog: http://lisa-handmadeinisrael.blogspot.com or visit my online store: http://www.etsy.com/shop/handmadeinisrael to order your very own guest book. I can also be found on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/HandmadeinIsrael and Twitter: http://twitter.com/handmadeisrael

Lisa Isaacs is the creative talent behind ‘Handmade in Israel’, a home-based papercraft business stocking a large range of greetings cards in English and Hebrew for all occasions, papercut pictures, gift boxes and of course, customized guest books.

Bar/Bat Mitzvah gifts

Money Bar Mitzvah Gifts

You can never go wrong with money presents, in Jewish tradition if you’re going to give money, a meaningful number is 18 because in Hebrew it has the same numerical value as the word Chai,meaning “ life”.  People often give Jewish money gifts in multiples of 18 – $36, $54, $90.  Included in the money category is gift certificates which can also be in multiples of 18.    Most adults give money as a gift. Children, when invited separately, will usually buy a present that they feel their friend would like. Family members usually give bigger amounts of money than casual friends.  It is wise to place the cash in a birthday card and present it when entering the party room or hall. If there is a welcoming line with family and the birthday boy or girl you can give it then, if not, there should be a table or basket set up for gifts. Give all gifts at the reception, not at the Temple/synagogue/shul.

Money Bar/Bat Mitzvah gifts

Meaningful Bar Mitzvah Gifts

Since the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is really a celebration of Jewish adulthood, some people choose to give gifts connected to the landmark moment.  Judaica is a nice option – for you can get a nice kiddish cup for boys or candle sticks for girls. If the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is close to a festival you can get Judaica connected to the festival like Machzorim prayer books for the high holy days or a menorah at Chanukah time.  Jewelry is a wonderful gift, and can be meaningful for boys and for girls.  Alef Bet Jewelry has a Bat Mitzvah line which is worth looking at http://alefbet.com/. Jewelry Designer Emily Rosenfeld told us that Bar and Bat Mitzvah favorites are Yads, Key Chains and Panels.  She has a new boys jewelry line which is popular also http://www.emilyrosenfeld.com/ . Jewish related books are also popular meaningful gifts.

Meaningful Bat Mitzvah gifts (from AlefBet Jewerly - voucher below

“Much Appreciated” Bar Mitzvah Gifts

If you just want to go with someone fun that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child will definitely appreciate, then you may want to go for games – computer, electronic, sports equipment, camping gear, something hobby related or vouchers to popular stores.  It is a good idea to enclose a exchange receipt.

"Much Appreciated" Bar/Bat Mitzvah gifts

Our readers suggest:

Some of our readers have shared some more fantastic ideas.

Debbie L – Great “Much Appreciated” gifts can be match/concert/season tickets

Joanne - iTunes gift cards were the easiest to use quickly, gender neutral, and fun. (Joanne also runs a wonderful Bar/Bat Mitzvah service making cool kippot – check it out http://www.maybe-sew.com/)

Clara – One family bought my oldest son a Kodak Playsport waterproof video camera. That was a hit!

Dalit – My son was very excited about some of the Jewish books that he received for his bar mitzvah.

Sarah – Money, money and money. We live in Israel and that is what you give. Mind you, I have seen people give camping equipment which is also very popular. I particularly love those little gas things that you can scramble eggs on and make hot water on.

Ilana – I have bought a few Bat Mitzvah girls identity necklaces or bracelets!

Miriam – Best present my daughter received for her Batmitzvah was a huge rucksack/camping backpack which she takes on all her school.

Ester – My son got a huge backpack and a water bottle backpack too. Those have been very handy. But we also really like the books and book store gift cards, and of course, the cash. Best of all was a new computer!

Janice – My nephew got so many rucksacks and camping equipment he thought people were trying to tell him something!

Gillian Kay – It’s a good idea to make a book list, so he/she gets the books he/she wants, not 10 of the same. Gift cards for shops like Fox and Gap go down well.

Debbie B – I have a friend whose daughter was an avid reader, so three of her friends got together, pooled their money and got her an e-reader with a very large gift card and a list of all of the classics that she should load onto it. Clever, right?

The nice people from Ultimate Affair Weddings told us – The new Sony camera , with a few photo albums, Kinda pricey gift but I have seen that a few times in the last few months. Thumb Drives is another one. Journals, Mont Blanc Pen Set, Waterman Pens.

And now – a gift to you:

Check out this surprise for you from AlefBet Jewelry http://www.alefbet.com/ They told us “We have jewelry! Use coupon happyholidays2011 and take 15% off entire order!”

Do you have any more great Bar/Bat Mitzvah gift suggestions? Please tell us in the comment box below.

Geoffrey Webbis a blogger and business consultant. I am not sure if he would like that introduction, so feel free to read about him here.   In his latest post, he reveals three characteristics of a leader of people

1. Stand Up. Take responsibility for your values and your people—not only will you sleep better at night, you’ll attract loyal followers as well.

2. Speak Up. You always have an opinion—whether you realize it or not. Know what yours is—and be ready to share it.

3. Step Up. Words and positioning are a good start, but in the end, action is what communicates your real commitment, and thus, your true courage.

Courage generates leadership from Geoffry Webbis's website

I love it!  A clear, simple and concise guide to leadership – believe in something, represent your values in words and act on your beliefs.  People will respect you, trust you and choose to follow you.

Andi Leubitz gives parenting advice through her blog. In her latest post, she acknowledges that she believes that her own trait of being non-confrontational  is not helpful.  She therefore she encourages her children to fight! Yes, you read this correctly!  But there is a list of wonderful ground rules to the fighting.  These rules all boil down to teaching her children the important life skills of “self expression” on the one hand and “respecting the other” on the other hand. I highly recommend this post for all parents.

Kid's fighting should be encouraged

As BATmom, the surprising superhero, the focus of my personal blog isn’t on leadership and it also isn’t primarily on parenting.    My BATmom blog is the story of a mother who is trying to grow emotionally and spiritually. At the same time, it is the story of a mother who is trying to use this personal growth to impact her home and her family. Perhaps we can call my own unique brand “Home Leadership”. This is particularly important to me in the transition year of my daughter’s Bat Mitzvah and I am constantly assessing what messages I must give her as she joins the Jewish community of adults.

So the pearls of wisdom that I have taken for myself from the above wise people is that as BATmom I must define my own values and beliefs, I must speak up and express them, and I must act on them with fearless pride.  This will serve as a shining light to my children, who should also be encouraged to develop their own values and beliefs, they should be encouraged to express and defend their values and beliefs.  At the same time they should be taught to respect the values and beliefs of others.

Dear BATgirl RESPECT yourself and others!

Quotables:  Thanks to my old friend Lisa Max, who posted this quote on facebook.”If there is a light that lights the path for others, let it be the light that shines from you.”

I like the idea of “home leadership” for moms.  What other tools of trade should “home leaders” use?

Bat Mitzvah mom sighs...

Most importantly, its time to update you all about BATgirl’s Bat Mitzvah plans.  In a previous posting I revealed that this year, the BATfamily will be partaking in a multifaceted journey in which we will explore some of the Bat Mitzvah messages to which a Bat Mitzvah girl should be exposed.  I have spent some time thinking about the messages that I would like to put forward to BATgirl and I have finally made a plan which will allow us to uncover those messages from fun, experiential and meaningful angles.  We live in Israel, so in 6 day trips, our family will be visiting places and people (within reasonable traveling distance) that will have a message to share.  Below is a very brief and tentative itinerary.  The order of the experiences below is purely based on logistics and convenience.

Bat Mitzvah day trip itinerary

Outing number 1 – the purpose of this outing is to think about the difference that a single individual can make with his/her actions, it is a place where we will explore the importance of having pride and commitment to our nation and our Jewish identity.  This place is Har Herzl.

Outing number 2 – the purpose of this outing will be to hear the ancient story of Jerusalem, the 3000 year old capital of the Jewish people, and so we will be visiting the Kotel Tunnels.

Outing number 3 – this outing will take place just after Chanukah, a festival when we dwell on heroism, perseverance and striving through the dark to reach the light.  We will have a chance to think about all of that, during our visit to Machon Ayalon.

Sort of unrelated pic, but I thought I would post it anyway

Outing number 4- the purpose of this outing is to explore our family roots- all the way to the ancient source – the Biblical Patriarchs and Matriarchs.  Therefore we will be visiting Ma’arat HaMachpela.

Outing number 5 – “Only with the heart can one see right.” Antoine de Saint Exupéry, The Little Prince.  Keeping that in mind, we will be visiting the Holon’s Children Blind museum.  We will also be thinking about how each of us has our own difficulties, and how we should relate to our personal challenges.

Outing number 6 – is to a yet – undisclosed location.  But we can reveal to you that the tour guide will be BATgirl’s Saba – who also likes to call himself Sponge-Da.  Sponge-Da will be taking BATgirl and her classmates to one of the places that he is involved with supporting, and at this location the girls will have an opportunity to partake in a Chesed project. The purpose of this outing will be to think about, and act on, the imperative of looking after the people around us who need our help.

Learning about helping people out

So there you have 6 day trips that the BATFamily will be making over the next few months.  These outings represent 6 Bat Mitzvah messages, which will be reinforced in the Bat Mitzvah ceremony.  I promise that we’ll talk about the ceremony another time, although I will say now that we will dwell on what it means to be a Jewish woman, the chain of Jewish generations and our family.

There are many, many important messages out there that I couldn’t fit into the itinerary – wherever you are in the world, I would love to hear where you would take your daughter to learn a Bat Mitzvah message – please feel free to tell me in the comment box below.