Batmom Blog: The grinch who stole the Bat Mitzvah!

This week Bat Mitzvah Mom, Alissa, is our guest blogger.

A mother and a daughter’s idea of a Bat Mitzvah seems to be two different things.  Huh?  At least in my family it is!  You see I’m a Jewish mom who used to teach 6th grade Hebrew school for goodness sake.  For years I taught with the aim to inspire Bnei Mitzvah to continue their Jewish heritage and to be proud of their religion at the time of their coming of age.  The truth is, I am not so anti-the-ceremony as I am anti the big party.

 

The big BAT MITZVAH PARTY!

The big BAT MITZVAH PARTY!

We are Reform Jews in Los Angeles, so a Bat-Mitzvah is totally ordinary in our community.  All girls read from the Torah and give a speech the exact same as a boy of the age of 13.  All of my daughter’s friends are having a bat/bar mitzvah, and the friends are helping one another celebrate by first attending the ceremony and after the party.  Now, I am ready to sit up on the bima and smile and brag about my daughter’s love, I mean LOVE of Judaism!  I am ready to write a speech about her life and read it to the congregation.  But then, the celebration……..  I get squeamish even thinking about it.

My real plan was to go to Israel for three glorious weeks in the winter.  To have a small celebration there with the Israeli side of the family, and do a little dinner there, a little dancing, we’ll be at last with the family for an extended period of time and of course not for pure happy-celebrations.  However, my daughter says, “NO!” She prefers a party for the friends and family.  I am in a real dilemma, and can’t wrap my head around the idea of entertaining for five hours instead of spending three weeks abroad.

Judaica from alefbet.com

Bat Mitzvah Judaica from alefbet.com

With my inner-issues of not wanting to celebrate with others, I am a little resentful of the whole idea now.  I do not particularly like spending money on other people, just to hear them say, “the music was too loud… the food was tasteless… the decorations were boring.”  I wonder if all parents feel this way?  I doubt it, since many mothers speak highly of the entire planning process.  I have yet to hear anyone say they don’t want to plan and entertain others.  I think I am the only one, the grinch who stole the Bat Mitzvah?

The grinch who stole the Bat Mitzvah

The grinch who stole the Bat Mitzvah

 

Alissa, co-owner of Alef Bet Jewelry, designs and manufactures jewelry in Los Angeles, CA .  Run by Paula, mother of 3, grandma of 5, and Alissa, mother of 3.   Inspired long ago by the Hebrew alphabet, Alef Bet Jewelry first designed Hebrew letter beads.  We named ourselves after the beads, but people kept on asking us, “what else do you have?”  That is how the business developed…a need for modern Judaic jewelry.  More than 15 years later, Alef Bet Jewelry designs and manufactures hamsas, evil eye pendants, religious sayings, red string bendel bracelets, and of course, a Jewish Star.

 

 

Planning a party in Israel – is it feasible?

Minor life-cycle celebrations are usually held at home. When it comes to more significant events, such as Bar or Bat Mitzvahs, weddings and golden anniversaries many Jews throughout America choose to celebrate in Israel. Their major desire is to achieve a personally meaningful experience, and also to support Israel, to cut down their guest list, to avoid social pressures and to minimize costs.

Here are some points to consider when planning your affair in Israel:

 

  • Think about your priorities when choosing your venue. Are you most interested in the religious/historical/spiritual significance or are you looking for a spectacular view or a particular ambiance?
  • Consider the weather and plan accordingly. A daytime outdoor affair in the summer can be very hot and uncomfortable. On the other hand, while Israel is known for its mild winters there is a definite rainy season which can be unpredictable so a contingency plan for an outdoor winter event is necessary.
  • Be aware of bureaucratic requirements. For a marriage to be officially recognized, it must be registered with the Rabbinate. This requires submitting various affidavit-type documents attesting to both parties’ marital status and Judaism some time before the wedding.
  • Familiarize yourself with the ceremony in question. Whether you are celebrating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah or a wedding, there is a range of customs which can be included in or excluded from the ceremony. Certain things which you may take for granted may not be regarded in the same way in Israel. Be sure to discuss all aspects of your ceremony with the presiding Rabbi.
  • Inquire about the method of payment and the currency requested. Each of your service providers may have different requirements. Most are willing to receive payment in either shekels or dollars but many do not take foreign credit cards. Some are hesitant to accept personal dollar checks. Asking will enable you to come prepared.

For a Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration in Israel one may choose to have a prayer service in which the child is called to the Torah. While the rules at the Western Wall permit a service of this kind only for boys, there are other options for girls as well as for boys. The service can then be followed by a short tour and a festive meal.

Marriages in Israel are a religious affair and are performed according to the Orthodox Halacha. There are numerous banquet halls and gardens available for a wedding. Some people choose to conduct their ceremony in one setting and continue the affair in another place.

While it is not absolutely impossible to plan and arrange a party long- distance, there are instances in which personal presence can make the difference between an “okay” choice and an optimal one. Hiring a party planner can be the ideal solution. Choosing one who is flexible enough to allow you to determine your degree of involvement in decision making and choices will enable you to feel that this is truly your own affair.

Written by Adina Buchs, proprietor of “B’Rosh Shaket” party and event planning.

Israel Party Planner
www.broshaket.com
adina@broshaket.com
972-52-3803048

The best Bar and Bat Mitzvah party planners in Israel

Bar Mitzvah at the kotel

Bar Mitzvah at the kotel

There are so many reasons to celebrate a Bar Mitzvah or a Bat Mitzvah in Israel.  It is one of the most meaningful places to celebrate one of the most significant days of your son’s life, and it is also a gorgeous country with so many fabulous and unique venues to choose from. Whether you are planning a small intimate Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah  in Israel, or a large formal affair, you will find a location that suits you. Some of the most popular locations for Bar Mitzvah’s in Israel include the Old City of Jerusalem, the Southern Wall, The Kotel and Massada – but there are also  stunning hotels and halls,  ancient synagogues, desert plains, bedouin tents  – the options are endless!  There are also tons of fun and meaningful ways you can entertain your guests to ensure that your Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Israel will be unforgettable: jeep riding in the desert, swimming with dolphins, cycling around the kinneret, serving food in a soup kitchen, bringing toys to children in hospital – the list goes on and on…

Of course, if you are planning your Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Israel from abroad, logistics can be challenging (to say the least), but nowadays there is no reason to be put off by this detail.  There are so many amazing events coordinators in Israel and party planners in Israel, who make it their business to look after every small detail for you so that your Bar or Bat Mitzvah in Israel will be the perfect dream occasion.  Many of these events coordinators and party planners are former immigrants to Israel and have very high standards of professionalism and customer services. Below you will find a list of Events Coordinators and party planners  in Israel who specialize in working with overseas clients.

Protexsia Plus+
Protexsia Plus+ goes beyond the familiar to the extraordinary. We specialize in  creating breathtaking events and unique journeys throughout the land of Israel. We invite you to visit our website so you can see for yourself what sets us apart from the rest…
http://www.protexsiaplus.com/
protexia@netvision.net.il

B’Rosh Shaket
Celebrate your next simcha with NO worry and NO hassle!
B’Rosh Shaket will do all the “leg work” for you, finding the best services at the best prices.
Please visit our site: www.broshaket.com or call: 052-3803048

Shalom Israel Tours
While you’re in Israel, you can take some tours with a fantastic, creative and innovative tour company.  Check them out!
Please visit our site: http://shalomisraeltours.com/

Letizia Event Design and Production
http://www.letizia-events.com/
le@letizia-events.com

(Bar Mitzvah in Israel Planners – if you would like to be added to our growing list please contact us!)

Bar Mitzvah Party Planner Extraordinaire – to the Rescue!

Let me share with you a small glimpse behind the scenes of a Bar Mitzvah Celebration we recently arranged.  A charming South American woman contacted us and told us of her dream to have her son’s Bar Mitzvah in Israel.  Language, logistics and culture made it impossible for her to coordinate the affair alone and so she entrusted the planning to us at Eventfully Yours.  Guests included 200 Spanish-speaking friends and family members.  As a show of affection for the Bar Mitzvah Boy’s grandfather on his special birthday the family ordered a cake to be included in the dessert buffet. The cake was to say happy birthday in Spanish,“ ¡Feliz cumpleaños! Pappa Joe”.

My client was bubbling over with excitement as the Bar Mitzvah began. The guests were mingling at the reception and all seemed in order.  I took the opportunity to slip away and do a final once-over.  I reviewed and mentally checked off the schedule, checked on the meal and confirmed that all special requests had been met as my training and experience has taught me.  Oy vey!  My mouth dropped open!  Yours would too!  The pastry chef lowered a large, decorated platter for my approval.  Pappa Joe’s very special Birthday Cake quite literally said “Happy Birthday in Spanish”.  My husband and partner in our business began to laugh, and yes, today it does seem hysterically funny.  The biggest mess-ups make for the best stories once the crises have past but when it’s my name and my reputation on the line, and when I know my valued client will be devastated, that’s the time for action, not laughter.

Let’s just say that long before the hostess or her guests were ready for dessert we had a new cake in place which read just as expected,“ ¡Feliz cumpleaños! Pappa Joe”.  Best of all, the client never knew that anything was amiss.  I, the planner, smiled broadly exuding confidence and the cake took pride of place on the buffet.  This example is representative of the high level of service and careful attention to detail for which we are known.

Bar Mitzvah cake

Not what we were expecting!

By Shoshana Falik of Eventfully Yours : For a free consultation and many more “save the day” stories please contact us at:
Eventfully Yours
Israel’s Premier Event Planners
www.eventfullyyours.net

USA    212 561 5905
Israel  +972(0)54 7464 722

Do you have more near-disaster Bar or Bat Mitzvah stories?  Tell us about them!