Mitzvah Costs: The Complete List

When you begin to plan your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah celebration, it’s helpful to sit down and come up with a budget. That usually begins with a list of the various vendors you will need to make your child’s celebration special. Your initial list is something similar to the below:

Catering Hall/Venue,
Kiddush,
Yarmulkes, Invitations, DJ,
Photo Favors,
Photographer and Videographer, Centerpieces/Décor,
Sign-in Board,
Favors,
Clothes for Family,
Hair/Make-Up

But what about all the other hidden costs you might not be thinking about? We checked in with a few Mitzvah Moms who have already been through the planning process and they recommend that you remember to think about the following when planning your budget:

Mitzvah party budget

Mitzvah party budget

Lots of tipping – Many venues, entertainment companies and florists will provide you with a list of suggested tips for their staff. This is sometimes a surprise and not something you included in your original budget.

Your favors – They are ordered and look great, but then you realize you want to present them in a bag of some type with tissue paper. This is an extra cost that can come up unexpectedly.

Labels/Water bottles – Hopefully your children can make their own labels on the computer, but you might need to buy cases of water bottles so your guests won’t be thirsty on the ride home!

Place cards – If you are having calligraphy done for your place cards, don’t forget to factor in this added cost.

Stamps/postage – After you approve the text and design of your invitation, your child might talk you into a matching customized stamp from a Website like Zazzle.com. To have a stamp that matches your invitation design or with your child’s initials or their photo, could cost double of what postage would be with a regular stamp.

An additional photo session – Many photographers offer a casual portrait session. If you are a family of girls, the hair and make-up bill is something you might not have thought about.

Amenity baskets – This is usually not remembered until the end of your planning. You might want one for the catering hall bathroom and a basket to hold the yarmulkes at your Temple. Many Moms create these themselves, but you still need to buy the items and in some cases the basket and ribbon.

Amenity baskets from www.thebasketsofdistinction.com

Amenity baskets from www.thebasketsofdistinction.com

Insurance - If your child’s party is during the winter months, you might want to consider taking out some party insurance.

Thank you notes – These are sometimes ordered with the invitations, but it is an additional cost. Additionally, don’t forget about the postage you need to place on these!

Socks – Many of the kids (especially the girls) remove their shoes shortly after arriving at the party. Many Moms buy socks in bulk to have handy for the kids to wear on the dance floor.

Bus Transportation – If your child’s celebration is immediately following your service or if the party is a distance away, you might want to provide bus transportation for the kids. You do need to plan ahead and include this information on your invitations.

Party Security – If your venue doesn’t include this service, you might want to consider hiring outside security so you can enjoy the party knowing that the young guests are being supervised.

End of night treat: Although most parties have terrific dessert buffets, many families choose to have a parting food treat as guests are leaving or a candy buffet with bags. Either way, you need to consider these costs in your budget.

Limo/Car Service – Another last minute thought is to arrange for your immediate family to get to and from the party via limo or car service. This usually isn’t something that goes into your original budget 1-2 years before your planning begins.

Day after Brunch – Why not continue the celebration the day after with a brunch. Although it might only involve bagels and coffee, it does add up!

Creating a Bar/Bat Mitzvah budget is essential in your planning, but is only useful if you include ALL the costs, so there aren’t any surprises.

By Sheri Lapidus, Founder, www.MitzvahMarket.com

Sheri Lapidus is a public relations executive with over 20 years’ experience. After working in various roles at NBC-TV, CBS-TV, In Style and Elle magazines, she founded www.MitzvahMarket.com, a free online resource for Bar/Bat Mitzvah planning families.

A different kind of Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration!

OK, OK – this is an attempt at being lighthearted!  Personally, I think it’s great!

Harvey wanted to celebrate his son Josh’s Bar Mitzvah in a unique and spectacular way.  None of that “keeping up with the Goldbergs” for him – Harvey was The Trendsetter himself!

Having looked into a Bar Mitzvah cruise and a Bar Mitzvah Safari, he decided that his big surprise would be a Bar Mitzvah in space!  He would rent a spaceship and Josh would be the first Bar Mitzvah space boy.

Space Theme Bar Mitzvah

Space Theme Bar Mitzvah from zimensioncards.com

When the big day came, the spaceship took off with his family, friends and Rabbi.  They had a wonderful time, and when they returned, the local Jewish press was waiting to find out all about the journey.

The first person off the shuttle was the Zaydie.
“How was the service?” the reporter inquired.

“Not bad,” she replied.
“And how was Josh’s speech?”
“Not bad.”
“So how was the food?”
“Not bad.”
“Everything was just not bad? Why aren’t you more enthusiastic? What went wrong?”

Zaydie sighed and replied: “There was no atmosphere.”

Bat Mitzvah coming up? 14 Bat Mitzvah Tips to kick start your planning!

Bat Mitzvah Girl

Bat Mitzvah Girl

If you’ve never had to plan a Bat Mitzvah before, the process may seem scary and overwhelming!  If you type keywords like “Bat Mitzvah planning” into an internet search engine, you will find many, many links to vendor sites, large portals, forums etc….but you’re not ready for that yet!   Well, the good news is you have come to the right place to focus yourself to start your Bat Mitzvah planning.  Read on to discover 14 tips that will kick start your Bat Mitzvah planning, plus  check out the quick link resources I have added!

1.    It’s never to early to start planning! Planning doesn’t mean choosing vendors or booking locations!  You can start thinking about your daughters bat mitzvah a year and a half in advance.  When you go to other peoples functions, think about what you like, what you don’t, and just start mulling over options (or ruling out options) in your mind.

2.   Go low tech: Buy a folder, notebook and pen:  Put the notebook inside the folder. This is for your notes, your interviews, your calculations etc.  Also put in the folders any prospects, price quotations, handouts etc.

3.    Download a Bat Mitzvah planning timetable to help you keep to a schedule.  For a free planning timetable, email us (you don’t need to register with our site!)

4.    Personalize your Bat Mitzvah: There are so many ways to celebrate a Bat Mitzvah, do your research: What is a Bat Mitzvah?  How do you want to celebrate a Bat Mitzvah?  What different ways or style can one celebrate a Bat Mitzvah?

5.    Now you can think about the content of the Bat Mitzvah.  Remember, it isn’t just about the party – your daughter is becoming a part of Jewish community. What does this mean to you?  What does it mean to her? How do you want this to be reflected in the Bat Mitzvah itself?  How can your Bat Mitzvah girl grow from this in terms of Jewish awareness and commitment?  For ideas check out http://www.areyvut.org/

Bat Mitzvah Party

Bat Mitzvah Party

6.    Choosing a community: At least part of the the Bat Mitzvah is often in a synagogue or temple.  Think about which local Synagogue/Temple you identify with, meet with them to make sure that they are the right “partners” for you, and most importantly, discuss dates with them.

7.    Set a date for the ceremony and the party.  The date can be based around your daughter’s Hebrew birthday, or you can connect it to a festival or another special (or convenient) time. Make sure that the date you set doesn’t clash with any holidays. To find out your daughter’s Hebrew birthday check out http://www.chabad.org/calendar/birthday_cdo/aid/6228/jewish/Jewish-Birthday.htm

8.  How much and who: First work out what your budget is, and based on that you can draw up a rough guest list.  I found this, but have never used it.  http://www.evite.com/app/party/calculator/view.do

9. What: Think about what type of event do you want?  Do you want a formal do, or informal?  What time of the day do you want?  On a week night?  Weekend?  Do you want it large or intimate?

10.   Where: Based on the above and your budget, choose a location for the party

11.   How: Get advice:  You’re nearly ready to think about vendors, themes, center pieces, mitzvah projects etc!  Speak to friends who have “been there done that” to find out who they would recommend.  Ask them for tips and pointers, and also ask them what mistakes they made or what to avoid.  Here is where the online forums are useful – just google the key words “bat Mitzvah forums”.  These are online communities of Bat Mitzvah parents like you at different stages of their Simcha  – and they’re waiting to share their process with you!  If you’re in the NY area, you can get consultation services from http://www.jlifeconsulting.com/site/?p=home

12.  Bat Mitzvah learning: If you want your daughter to learn something for her Bat Mitzvah, you can contact your Synagogue/Temple to find out if they recommend a tutor (or ask a online or offline buddy).  Get references!  Find out if there is a Bat Mitzvah Year enrichment program in your Synagogue, Temple, School or JCC.

13.    Choose the theme of the Bat Mitzvah. You can connect it creatively to your daughter’s Bat Mitzvah Portion, a Jewish idea or value (tsedaka, family). Go ahead and Google “bat Mitzvah themes”, you’ll get loads more ideas from there…

14.    Make a list of vendors that you will need: you may think about hiring a party planner, caterer, photographer, videographer, entertainer, florist etc.  get recommendations about particular vendors and interview them – make sure that they are people that you will be happy to work with.  We wrote an article on choosing a photographer; you can use some of the guidelines for other service vendors: http://www.yourjewishspeech.com/bar-mitzvah/109-choosing-a-photographer-for-your-barbat-mitzvah

With that we’ve covered the big details, there are many smaller details, and we recommend that you consult you Bat Mitzvah Planning Schedule for further details. (Email us and ask for one, you don’t need to register for our site)!

Most importantly remember, this is your daughter’s  Big Day, she is the Bat Mitzvah girl. Let her have an appropriate amount of involvement and choice in the planning, and make sure that the occasion you have planned is something that she will look forward to and want to remember!

Good luck and mazal tov!