Speeches at a wedding can be a source of entertainment and enjoyment, or they can be a source of sedation that puts your guests to sleep. Everyone wants their wedding to be a memorable occasion but not because their wedding holds the record for the most people in dinner jackets simultaneously snoring.
There are loads of issues that need to be resolved when planning a wedding, for example finding the caterer, venue, band and photographer just to name a few. So how does one decide on “who’s speaking, when, how much and why” when planning for the big day? Discourse or main course, what’s it going to be?
Here are a few tips that you might find useful when making your decision:
- Think about your guests. Are they the type of crowd who would appreciate listening to someone share memories of the bride and/ or groom as they negotiated the thrills and chills of embarrassing adolescent moments? Would your guests be mesmerized by an academic discourse on Jewish nuptials from the time of Moses up until the creation of the State of Israel? It’s fine to have speakers at your wedding but make sure the address matches the audience.
- Think about your timing. There is nothing worse then throwing a spanner into a finely tuned wedding schedule in the form of a drawn out long winded lecture. If you have a day planned with lots of time available for including speeches then do so, just make sure you make it clear to the speakers how much time they have. Be very clear. Try and give each one an exact time slot as a simple straightforward boundary.
- Choose your speakers cleverly. Now is not the time to give Uncle Bernie, a frustrated lapsed vaudeville wannabe, the spotlight. It’s not appropriate to ask your third cousin once removed, who has little connection to the bride and groom, to say a few words just because he is a famous astronaut. Instead, think of someone who can enhance your celebration because they care about the bride and groom and the family. Opt for someone who will make a meaningful impression rather then someone who wants to be a sensation.
- Finally, if you decide to include speeches be serious about it. People spend months choosing menus, playlists and various shades of pink roses all with the well meaning intention of creating the perfect occasion. Don’t get trapped in the smaller details and neglect giving thought to what could be the most important aspect of your day; the speeches. A well delivered, personal, touching speech that your guests enjoy and are moved by, can be the outstanding feature of your wedding that makes it special, memorable and magical.
So Mazal Tov and Happy Homilies!!!!!